I first accepted Christ when I was in second grade. At the time, I was attending Eighth Street Baptist Church in DE. Sitting in Sunday School one morning, I felt the Spirit of God drawing me in and I knew I needed to confess Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Shortly thereafter, my mom's sister died and then her mother died (both of cancer) and in the midst of the family chaos, we stopped going to church. So I received Christ and was baptized, but there was no discipleship. I wasn't actually taught what it means to be a Christian. So I simply continued doing what I thought was expected of me.
I tried to live a perfect life. That meant perfect grades and a serious dose of extracurricular activities. It was so important for me to get straight A's. I still remember one of my friends in sixth grade Social Studies asking, "Why are you doing extra credit? You already have 100% in the class." But I had to do the extra credit because my identity was wrapped up in having a perfect image. I had to prove to people that I was worth something. But no matter how perfect my life seemed on the outside, I was still searching for significance on the inside.
After my parents divorced, I moved to Pittsburgh with my mom and eventually recommitted my life to Christ in high school. My journey since then has been far from perfect, but it's certainly been exciting. God has freed me from the obsession about what people think of me, because, quite frankly, it really doesn't matter. God showed me that I am worth everything to Him. He sent His son to die on my behalf because He values me as a person. So, truthfully, the only opinion that matters is what He thinks of me. Every day I grow a little closer to Him, letting go of my old way of thinking and rewiring my mind with His amazing truth.
