i'm beautiful.

Beautiful. It’s a word that some Christian females shy away from. Well, maybe I won’t talk in generalities. I’ll talk about myself.


Pretty much my entire life I’ve tried to make a distinction between myself and the world in terms how I perceived my self-worth. I wanted to believe that, unlike most of the other women I knew, I didn’t desire to feel beautiful. Feeling beautiful and being told that you’re beautiful is for females who don’t have anything else to value about themselves. Those kinds of girls wear makeup and fancy clothes. They walk around fishing for compliments. They go out of their way to appear beautiful to the opposite sex. I convinced myself that I was nothing like them.

I even found Scripture that justified my belief. I quickly memorized Proverbs 31:30, because it reinforced this idea that beauty wasn’t important to God, so it didn’t matter whether I was beautiful or not. I told myself I don’t need to be beautiful. That I don’t even want to be beautiful, because that means I’m vain. I said, I have a lot of good things going for me so beauty really doesn’t concern me.

But, frankly, that was just one giant lie.

Of course I wanted to feel beautiful. I wanted to be beautiful. And I still do.

Now the funny thing is, I’ve never felt more beautiful since the day I posted my personal testimony on the Internet. I spilled some really ugly, dark secrets that some people might be ashamed to share. Now, logically, you would think that sharing some ugly things about yourself to a bunch of people would make you feel really horrible and embarrassed.

But that’s not the case. God doesn’t work like that. After I shared, I definitely felt different, but in a good way. I felt like I was sparkling and clean and just… beautiful. I even looked in the mirror, and I was like, dag, I’m pretty! Haha. Not in a vain way, like I was gratifying my flesh, but I was just appreciative of the way that God created me. I didn’t choose to look like this. He did. And He loves me and the way I look.

And I honestly can’t remember the last time I really thought I was beautiful, and really meant it. No make up, no push-up bra, no jewelry… just me. And it’s a really good feeling.

Now, everybody is always saying “true beauty lies on the inside.” And I definitely believe that. But I’ve experienced something even deeper than that. It’s like my beauty shines from the inside. I understand that God created me and that each of His creations is beautiful to Him, and this view has completely warped my perspective of myself, from the inside out. It started on the inside with God doing really restoring my heart and renewing my mind to see me like He sees me. And now I’m finally able to say, without shame, doubt or hesitation – I am beautiful. Yes, it’s true that external beauty is passing but I can’t help but think that God made me beautiful anyway.

Psalm 45:11 says, “The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord.”

Now, let’s break this down. Can I get a definition, Webster?

enthrall, v.: capture the fascinated attention of.

Ok, so according to the Word of God, my beauty captures the fascinated attention of the Lord God, creator of the entire universe…? Hm. Your beauty captures the fascination of God. He is amazed by how beautiful you are. The archaic definition of enthrall even goes so far as to explain putting someone in bondage. Now, although we know that God can’t be bound, it’s almost like your beauty has Him completely overtaken. Your beauty overwhelms God. His jaw is dropped and He doesn’t even care. He just in love with you.

Isn’t that just a little mind boggling? But regardless of whether we can fathom or understand it, it remains true. You are beautiful and he is enthralled by your beauty. So honor Him. Thank Him for the way He created you and bask in His love for you.