My Two Minute Miracle

I first accepted Christ when I was in second grade. At the time, I was attending Eighth Street Baptist Church in DE. Sitting in Sunday School one morning, I felt the Spirit of God drawing me in and I knew I needed to confess Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Shortly thereafter, my mom's sister died and then her mother died (both of cancer) and in the midst of the family chaos, we stopped going to church. So I received Christ and was baptized, but there was no discipleship. I wasn't actually taught what it means to be a Christian. So I simply continued doing what I thought was expected of me.

I tried to live a perfect life. That meant perfect grades and a serious dose of extracurricular activities. It was so important for me to get straight A's. I still remember one of my friends in sixth grade Social Studies asking, "Why are you doing extra credit? You already have 100% in the class." But I had to do the extra credit because my identity was wrapped up in having a perfect image. I had to prove to people that I was worth something. But no matter how perfect my life seemed on the outside, I was still searching for significance on the inside. 

After my parents divorced, I moved to Pittsburgh with my mom and eventually recommitted my life to Christ in high school. My journey since then has been far from perfect, but it's certainly been exciting. God has freed me from the obsession about what people think of me, because, quite frankly, it really doesn't matter. God showed me that I am worth everything to Him. He sent His son to die on my behalf because He values me as a person. So, truthfully, the only opinion that matters is what He thinks of me. Every day I grow a little closer to Him, letting go of my old way of thinking and rewiring my mind with His amazing truth.

There is power in the name of Jesus.

Today I was reminded of the almighty power of Jesus Christ. I was blown away as God revealed two categories of things that I have ascribed power to.

1. People
So often I've tried to impress others with my intelligence or accomplishments or good deeds... but it's sheer foolishness. It's complete and utter foolishness. There is no human being on this planet that has any authority over me or my destiny. Why should I be caught up in trying to gain their approval? It is God who approves. It is also God who gives his children favor with men, and even if He doesn't, there is no person on the planet who can interfere with my right standing with God.

Even more, people really aren't powerful apart from Jesus. Even people in places of authority are completely broken and helpless without a Savior. And the enemy has tried to convince me that my co-workers, for example, already have it all together. They're smarter than me, make more money than me, have more exciting lives than me - but all of that is ridiculous. Because God takes the foolish things of the world to shame the wise - to expose that they are powerless. And no matter how equipped they are in this life, they are headed to eternal destruction if they don't know Jesus as their Lord. And it's heartbreaking to think of how I diminish the value of my salvation in comparison to their earthly riches. But I thank God that He values each and every person on this earth and desires eternal life for them.

2. Powers of darkness
Let's be real: Jesus disarmed the powers of darkness and humiliated the enemy through His death on the cross and His resurrection. End of story.

There is actually no thing or person worthy of praise or boasting in aside from our God. He is all powerful. And when we are deceived into believing that He is anything less than that... we rob ourselves of a lifestyle that actually honors Him. A sub-par ideology of God is so detrimental... We have to take back any of the authority that we have given to other things... When we see Jesus as more powerful than any bondage or people or situation in our lives... when we truly believe there's power in His Name... the very peace and liberty of God is revealed.

Resting in Love

God, I thank you that my obedience is not a requirement. It’s worship. My consistency is not even mandatory – it’s just glorifying to You. My lack of consistency, my failures, my shortcomings… they are all covered by the blood of Jesus Christ.

If I have to obey, it’s a burden. If I get to obey, it’s an opportunity to worship. Then there’s no striving involved… it’s just the love of the Father that compels me to worship. That’s why the Word says, if you love the Lord, you obey His commands. My obedience starts with love for God, not with expectations or standards for myself.

There's no formula.

That's what I've been hearing from God for the past few days, through the mouths of many people. "There's no formula."

For the past week I had been a bit frustrated by my own lack of passion and boldness for the gospel which I claim to wholeheartedly believe. There was a part of me that really wanted to go all out --- sharing the gospel with strangers, praying for miracles, fasting with diligence --- but I couldn't figure out how to make the jump between what my life looked like at the moment and what I wanted it to be.

But God showed me some stuff.

First of all, there's no sense in thinking about who I want to be solely from an external perspective. The Bible says, "Man looks at outward appearance but God looks at the heart." That's a fundamental difference between how humans perceive eachother and how God perceives humans. If we want to find out about someone we look at their race, education, occupation/salary

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Pleasing One God.

Last night I was watching some sermons by Craig Groeschel from his series entitled "Weird: Because Normal Isn't Working." The series is built around Matthew 7:13-14: “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Most people are cruising through the broad gate, which, unfortunately, leads to their demise. But the brave few, the "weird" as Groeschel calls them, find the small gate and enter onto the narrow road. 


Anyway, here's one critical point he made: Normal people desire the please themselves and/or other people. Weird people desire to please God. And I started thinking about how confusing and frustrating it can be to meet people's expectations. First off, friends, parents, siblings, co-workers, neighbors, etc. each have separate expectations for you. What happens when your parents want you to study more but your friends want you to party more? It's impossible to satisfy everyone else's requirements for your life, because chances are, they don't overlap. Moreover, chances are higher that they'll change their minds about what they want from you. People are fickle like that. Pleasing people can become a huge mess.


And, of course, there are those people who say "I do my own thing" or "I don't care what people say about me." Well... Those people are lying. It's natural to care what others feel about us. As humans we long for significance in the world. We desire to feel important to others. If we don't, well... let's just say that's one reason anti-depressant prescriptions are filled. 


But there's hope. In fact, there's no need for

Whatever you do or say...

¹⁶ Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. Colossians 3:16-17

Sometimes I wonder if Paul is really serious... He tends to say some outrageous things. But when I look at Paul's life --- from being miraculously converted to being ridiculed, stoned, jailed, and probably martyred for the sake of the gospel of Christ... I'm sure he wasn't joking at all. He meant every single word he said.

When he says to do everything as a representative of the Lord Jesus, he means it. In fact, it's God speaking through him, encouraging us to live every moment with Christ in mind.

Is that really possible, though? Sometimes, maybe. But of the time? Hmph.

At work is where I struggle the most. There are so many action items and meetings and emails that I can easily get sucked into chaos of the day and lose my focus on Him. I fail to work to represent Jesus well, but, instead, I work to represent myself well. I selfishly choose to work to impress people and receive good feedback. And sadly, selfish mode is my default setting. But, day by day, I'm learning to be more consumed by my God than by my to-do list.

It's a learning process. But I strive to acknowledge my God at work. Acknowledging Him puts everything else in perspective. It reminds me that my duty as an ambassador for Christ is the foundation of my daily duties at work. And it moves me to give Him praise for my successes, instead of taking the credit myself.

I guess that's what Paul meant by "letting the message of Christ fill your lives." Let the gospel consume your life. It'll put everything in perspective.

Obedience must be a choice.

I was reading Genesis 2 and 3 today, and I began thinking about the significance of obeying God's commands.

In the case of Adam and Eve, God gave them one command: Don't eat from the tree in the middle of the garden, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. He said they could eat fruit from anywhere else in this ridiculously abundant garden... just not from that one tree. Why? Because it would kill them.

Adam and Eve had one commandment to obey. And they broke it.

Now, I'm not trying to clown Adam and Eve, because, quite frankly, I probably would have done the same thing. 1) Satan claimed it would increase their wisdom, making them more like God and 2) the fruit looked delicious. I'm a fan of both wisdom and food, so I probably would have been sold on the idea as quickly as Eve was.

But, given the fact that it took so little for Eve to be convinced, I started to wonder why God chose to put that tree in the garden in the first place. If He really wanted to protect them from death, and if He really wanted to make sure they didn't eat from the tree, why not just keep it out of their sight altogether? Why even give them the opportunity to disobey?

So I asked God. And this is what I heard: "Obedience needs to be a choice."

Interesting. So, if there's no opportunity to disobey, then obedience truly doesn't exist.

Obedience stems from a decision to honor authority. If the tree hadn't been in the garden, there would be no opportunity for obedience. There would be no submission to authority. Adam and Eve would simply be living by default, not by obedience.

I'm often frustrated by my own disobedience. Being tripped up by a "tree of knowledge" in my own garden or simply led astray by my own evil desires can be very discouraging. But the "tree" isn't in our territory simply to tempt us and remind us of what we can't do. God allows the "tree" to exist for as on-going opportunity to choose obedience to Him instead of sin.

Isn't that encouraging?

But I must say that I'm grateful my salvation isn't a product of my own obedience. My obedience to God is out of gratitude for what He has done for me. Just as Eve, myself and the rest of humanity have the opportunity to disobey, Jesus did too. He chose to be obedient on this earth, even to the point of death, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

For just as by one man's disobedience (failing to hear, heedlessness, and carelessness) the many were constituted sinners, so by one Man's obedience the many will be constituted righteous (made acceptable to God, brought into right standing with Him). Roman 5:19 (Amplified)

A serious case of Blog Neglect...

I haven't posted a blog in a while... My apologies. I've been a little caught up in another project I'm working on called Christian Carpology. In one sense, it's just another blog I'll be posting to, but in another sense, it's something much bigger than me. And after a while of wrestling with the html for the site, it's finally up and running! (Praise God!)

Me and eleven of my good friends are writers for Christian Carpology. We have a vision of professing God's love and truth to everyone by recounting how He is moving in our lives and the lives of others around us.We're posting various testimonies, devotionals, cool music and upcoming events for Christians around the country.

We may seem to be a pretty random group of bloggers (representing Pittsburgh, Philly, DC/Maryland, Texas, UK, Ghana and Korea), but we have one very big thing in common - Christ is our Savior. And I believe that God has united us to be ambassadors for Him through this blog. I love all of them, and God is working in their lives in marvelous ways and I'm excited to read their posts and stay updated on what God's doing all over the globe.

So... (drumroll please) without further ado... here's:

Christian Carpology (www.carpologist.blogspot.com)

And below is my latest post to Carpology. Something that I've really been thinking about lately and it's definitely encouraged me a lot, so I pray that it blesses you as well.

mercy - what an interesting concept

Sometimes when you sin and ask for forgiveness from the Lord, you aren’t fully prepared for His mercy. What I mean is that, we’re so used to being judged and scrutinized and pointed at by others when we mess up, that it’s hard to believe that a perfect God would be willing to forgive us when we fall short. It's just difficult to comprehend. And even more, it’s hard to embrace grace and mercy when we ourselves don’t show grace and mercy to others.

what makes me different from my dog

Sometimes I look at my pet dog, Chocolate, and wonder about his life. His days pretty much consist of eating and sleeping. I’d say he's either sleeping or laying on the floor for about 75% of any given day. And eating… Well, he loves food. Not so much the dog food that we give him every morning, but human food. He lives for human food. Anytime I’m eating something, no matter what it is, he sits by my feet waiting, anticipating a crumb on the floor or the occasional, intentional gifting of a piece of whatever it is I’m munching on. And it's times like that I feel like that’s all he really has to live for – a piece of popcorn that happens to fall on the kitchen floor.

the happy gospel

I just finished the book, “The Happy Gospel” by Benjamin Dunn (yes, a shameless plug – I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone). Through reading this book, the Holy Spirit definitely opened my eyes even more to the mystery of the gospel and gave me a newfound appreciation for its goodness. In fact, I could hardly keep my seat as I was reading. The Holy Spirit was literally leaping inside my stomach as if I had butterflies. I’ve literally been filled with joy over the gospel.

Testimonies - God the Father

God is good.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good. I’ve heard that so many times. But how many times do I really stop to let it sink in? Do I really believe God is good? Let alone, do I really believe He’s good all the time?

Something God has revealed to me over and over again is that I need to trust Him more. Not just trust Him with my burdens or trust in His ability to save people from their sins, but to trust Him because He is inherently good.

i'm beautiful.

Beautiful. It’s a word that some Christian females shy away from. Well, maybe I won’t talk in generalities. I’ll talk about myself.

God be glorified... by any means necessary

Hey y'all,

This is my testimony. I posted it to Facebook a few months back, but I'm sharing it here as well and asking that God would use it to bless you and prepare your heart to fully receive Him.

Posted on Facebook on 7/28/10 at 8:23PM, entitled "the story of my life: uncensored, uncut and unedited":
I spend a lot of time on Facebook declaring God’s goodness and His redemptive power, but I don’t think I’ve ever shared what God has rescued me from, publicly on Facebook. So here it goes. Behind every saint is a story. And mine is, ha. Let’s just say God’s grace is SO amazing and He is the only reason that I am where I am today.

a different kind of prophetic

A self-fulfilling prophecy is, according to a trusty source called Wikipedia:

“a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself to become true, by the very terms of the prophecy itself, due to positive feedback belief and behavior.”

This concept of the self-fulfilling prophecy is something I learned about in Social Psychology class. Pretty much, it means that you can believe something about a situation that isn’t true and act in ways that reflect this false belief and that can actually cause your belief to become true. For example, say you are about to meet a girl named Kim. Someone is spreading lies about Kim and tells you that she has a huge attitude problem. Before you even meet the girl, you don’t even like her. So when you finally meet Kim, you treat her poorly, which causes her to have an attitude with you. And then you say to yourself, “I knew she was a rude person.” That's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Jesus: Lord, King, and Example

If you’re following man, you’re not going to get anywhere in the eternal life. At best, you’ll get to the place where they are.

When Christians look to other people to dictate how they live their lives instead of looking to the Word and the example of Jesus Christ, that’s when we run into problems. It’s in Christ where our example lies. If we don’t have an example in a friend or family member about how to live a Spirit-filled Christian life, then we should look to Christ. Case closed. Glad that’s taken care of. Moreover, even in the case that a person is surrounded by Spirit-filled Christians, the example of Christ still reigns supreme. And even greater, the Holy Spirit guides us into all truth in terms of how to live even from each day to the next, each moment to the next. Therefore, we have no excuse. We have no reason to say, “I didn’t have someone to show me the way,” when the reality is, as a follower of Christ it is literally our responsibility to follow Christ. Follow in His footsteps. Don’t settle for ordinary living. Christ did the extraordinary. Be inspired to live greatly by the example that Christ set while he lived on this same planet earth.

say NO to foolishness

This is a Holy Spirit-inspired blog. I have no idea what I'm doing here. But we'll see what happens.

At church on Sunday, toward the end of the sermon, I scribbled down something in the margin of the church bulletin: "Don't try and figure out what you were thinking."